Virtual Healing Quilt provides those grieving a shared space to honour loved ones

The virtual Healing Quilt is uniting families across distance and time, blending Indigenous tradition with digital innovation to create a shared space to remember and honour loved ones.

Launched Sept. 26 at HealingQuilt.ca, the Canadian Healing Quilt is the first national project of its kind, allowing families to create memorial squares with photos, stories, and memories that can be shared publicly or remain private.

The vision comes from Elder and knowledge keeper Albert McLeod, who has roots in the Nisichawayasihk Cree Nation and the Métis community in Norway House, and who lives in Winnipeg. He’s an advisor with Canadian Virtual Hospice. During the COVID-19 pandemic, McLeod witnessed how families were often kept apart at critical moments of illness and loss.

“There were a lot of challenges for families to provide support because there was a lot of distancing and a lot of limitations on who could visit people in hospitals and personal care homes. People did die away from their families, and in some cases, there was no contact with their loved ones when they were passing,” he said. “A lot of people didn’t have that opportunity to (have) closure or do a service or burial.”

The inspiration for the virtual Healing Quilt also drew from McLeod’s lived experience. He has over many years advocated for the rights of two-spirit and LGBTQ Indigenous people across the continent and is a pioneer in HIV education for Indigenous people.

“I (survived) the AIDS pandemic from 1980 to around 2000 when there was no treatment for HIV,” he said. “In the U.S., we have the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and in Canada we have the Canadian AIDS Memorial Quilt, so I thought … we could do an online quilt-making project where people could remember their loved ones who had passed away during the pandemic.” The Canadian Healing Quilt, however, is not limited to those who were lost during COVID.

For Carla Garrett of Middleton, N.S., the quilt became a way to honour her son, Xavier, who died at the age of seven.

“I’ve worked with Canadian Virtual Hospice in the past. They have so many interesting initiatives for grief, but when the Healing Quilt came up, I thought, ‘Wow, what a creative way to memorialize his death and his life,’” Garrett said. “I love this quilt idea. Even though it comes from Indigenous tradition, it’s something that I think everybody can see as a comfort.”

With her family spread between Nova Scotia and Ontario, where she was raised, Garrett said the Healing Quilt offers a “place” to share memories that wouldn’t be possible otherwise.

“Xavier was a twin, so he has a twin sister, Mackenzie … he was her protector,” Garrett said, referring to her son as an “old soul.” “Being seven years old, he … seemed to have a sense of things beyond what a seven-year-old should. Aside from that, he was your typical seven-year-old boy. He loved Star Wars, he liked to play guitar, and he loved going boating with his dad.”

Xavier was only eight months old when his family received the life-changing diagnosis. 

“He was diagnosed with brain cancer as a baby … so he lived his entire life with cancer, but we were very fortunate to have had seven years with him.”

The quilt now offers a way to keep her son’s memory alive.

“It’s been eight years now since Xavier died, but our grief never ends,” she said. “What the Healing Quilt has allowed us to do is remind people that, even though it’s been quite a few years, the grief is still with us. For me it was helpful, because … oftentimes people stop talking about him or sharing those stories. This is really helping in that grief process, and helps others understand our grief process by being able to share about him again.”

Photos and stories can be added to the virtual quilt at any time. Among the memories Garrett plans to upload is a photo of Xavier proudly holding a fish he caught with his dad, and she has also invited close friends and family to share their happiest moments.

For McLeod, the Healing Quilt represents a universal symbol of comfort and honour.

“Blankets were very important to Indigenous people after the bison disappeared in North America,” he explained, describing the transition from bison hides to blankets. “Now we have quilts. The star quilt is really prominent now in the Indigenous culture as a gift or to honour somebody, but also, when someone has passed, they will wrap the person in a star quilt or have the star quilt on the casket. That’s why we chose that … (because) blankets and quilts are part of our ceremonies, and also our end-of-life rituals.”

Even in a constantly changing world, McLeod hopes to see these traditions endure.

“It is helping families grieve together and then acknowledge the passing of this person,” he said. “Unless you go through these rituals, you (may) think that person is alive somewhere … the acknowledgement is very important, just to acknowledge that dying is a part of life, and that it’s a natural part of life.”

The Canadian Healing Quilt is supported by Canadian Virtual Hospice, with gratitude to The Winnipeg Foundation for its investment and to Palliative Manitoba. Anyone in Canada can create a panel at no cost, whether for a family member or close friend. 

“It’s really showing you that you’re not alone,” Garrett said. “It’s something that you can share with family, wherever they are, which is meaningful to me.”

To learn more, visit HealingQuilt.ca or email Info@VirtualHospice.ca.